Escape to Istanbul: Log
Day 5. 10.03.2022
A group of cool students let me stay with them for a week, so I’m leaving my friendly neighborhood hostel.
A snow storm ramps up, and miniature snowflakes are instantly melting when they hit the asphalt. To celebrate this, the cafe placed a personal heater under my feet. After figuring out how to say “1 coffee” in turkish, I was eager to whisper these words to get a cup of excellent cup of ground “kahve”, which I sampled last time here. Lord knows the reasons for this, but my words were interpreted as a wish for a cup of metallic-tasting instant “nescafe”. How a country, which cares deeply about this particular beverage, can do that to a human being is beyond me.
Apartment is a two story aparment, standing on a tight slope. Second floor is not level and has enough space inside to host a population of mice. Regarding their survival in the city of cats, my bet is that abundant cat food, scattered around the streets is also edible by other species.
A comfy place all in all, even without a mother figure, who wouldn’t leave slices of avocado alone to decompose without a proper burial.
Day 6. 11.03.2022
Visited a party for russian expats. They felt like foreigners who just happen to speak the same language.
Personally, party’s redeeming point was a bunch of non-russians, with moustaches and without. Saw a charming place which was selling Turkish style baked potatoes. At 12am customers receiving steaming hot, belly open potatoe full of stuff seemed magical, how did I convince myself to not buy one?
Day 7. 12.03.2022
Today I’m relying on Starbucks as a workplace, which feels like a familiar western crutch in the land of million local coffee caves.
Picked a burger joint because they were blasting remixes of Eminem’s old classics, and their competitor across the street didn’t.
Caught a moment where it felt like the whole world is against me. Everyone I wrote to, didn’t respond to my messages, and I was imagining the absolute worst in others. Then suddenly, I got a barrage of enthusiastic, warm replies. Why it’s so easy to start expecting the worst in people?
On the way back home, I hear a loud crack in the distance. Is today a holiday? Haven’t seen any fireworks here yet. A minute later, a guy stops me in Turkish and then in English, saying I shouldn’t go forward, as he saw someone running with a gun. A black mass of 20-30 people are moving erratically on a small basketball court in the park on my way.
it’s still snowing, a few strangers, engaged in snowball fights, have thrown snowballs in my direction. In Russia it would feel rather hostile, but not here.
Our neighborhood has a lot of kids riding the slopes on plastic bags. That looks so joyous, that I join them, go too fast, fumble, crash into a sidewalk stairs and roll on the slope, hitting a few bones painfully enough, to start using smaller slopes. I don’t remember seeing whole neighborhoods participating in such snow galore. A christmas spirit.
Day 8. 13.03.2022
A friend invited me to a local Soho House for breakfast. In there, three French speakers(fluently conversing in English for my sake) casually trashed English language, noting how it’s lacking beauty, elegance, or anything really.
Caught a cold. Allowing myself to rest instead of constantly stressing about rent and banks and jobs.
Day 9. 14.03.2022
Had to leave last home for another one. More students, more foreign accents. Found a nice Lebanese restaurant. Sleeping on a sofa.
Day 10 15.03.2022
Making chinese style congee. Flatmates liked it so much, they’ve finished the pot in one go, and gave me a questionable nickname. “A christmas miracle”.
Day 11 16.03.2022
The Grand Bazaar. Beautiful architecture filled to the brim with souvenirs and cracking GUCCI letters, stretched by millions of shirts.
Day 12 17.03.2022
“The more productive you wanna be, the more schedule of your days should look like Groundhog Day.” My days are almost the opposite of that.
Day 13 18.03.2022
Met DV from Saint-Petersburg, on a random Istanbul alley. This city is the world, in some ways.
Met another friend from Moscow, on purpose. He brought me working UnionPay cards, which has a calming effect. I haven’t managed to successfully withdraw any cash from cards yet, but that seems like a minor thing.
Met DV at potatoe place and discussed a few essays worth of ideas.
Rave. Enjoyed mediocre music and getting sloshed.
Day 14 19.03.2022
Rode a tram for the first time, to get to the Archaeology Museum.
Museum of whatever is left from people long dead. They were rich and powerful. They were afraid to be forgotten, and spent riches to etch themselves into memories of others. Now they are dust, and soon the memory will be dust as well. Just like me, or anyone else.
During this 2 weeks, meeting new people and making friends was easier than ever. English language persona is well suited for that
Day 15 20.03.2022
A rooster outside of my window, is announcing the passing of every half-hour, instead of the expected sunrise moment.
Met with M for breakfast, I have never seen Pippi Longstocking in real life before. Every native language provides their own flavor of utterances. When people speak english as a second language, they bring these utterances with them. During these brief moments, they are talking to you in their native tongue, and revealing something, that no English word can express.
“It is no nation that we inhabit, but a language. Make no mistake; our native toungue is our true fatherland.” ― Emil Cioran
Terraformers switched AirBnb apartments and brought me along. Entrance is through a cheap leather bags shop, located on a busy tourist street. This city likes layers just like it likes layers of skewered kebab.
Blockchains(and DAOs in particular) are allowing you to design, program new communities. Even if I don’t see the immediate application, it’s worth diving in, once again.
Day 16 21.03.2022
A queue of people are shuffling around in front of the bank doors. A short woman with a complexion of a fridge, tells me something in Turkish. Unwilling to verbally admit no knowledge of Turkish language, I cock my head to the side. That produces a laugh.
I tell a bank guard the code, and he lets us through, skipping the queue. There is a good chance this adventure will get us a bank account. Having connections, is maybe the most valuable thing during catastrophic events.
Arrived at a party, where I barely knew 1 person, and never seen other 3. 10 seconds after entering the apartment, I’m realizing that the sole goal of this event, is to get utterly wasted. Would school me appreciate that and stay? I didn’t.
14.03-20.03 Week review
Calming down and solving stuff one step at a time. I hope I’m not missing anything cruicial and time-sensetive.
21.03-27.03 Week plan
Need to get a a job. Even if temporary, that would bring some peace and give more time to deal with things.
Day 17 22.03.2022
Reading “Top N essential C# Interview Questions from Big Evil” for the interivew tomorrow. I don’t think that can change the outcome, but it makes you feel prepared.
Called B and made her realize I probably won’t come back. There was a line in Hotline Miami: “Do you like hurting other people?”. I don’t like hurting this particular person so much, that for a minute,for the first time in a week, I consider returning.
A possibility to stay in a cool place for the next week has fallen through. Can wait a couple days for 2 interview results until I make any moves.
Day 18 23.03.2022
Caught myself editing published entries days after. Would leaving the text in original state be more “true”?
Should this “log” have as much logging of details as possible, or be a record of just the things which surprised me? The first option would bore me to death, fast.
Got a job offer. I got used to a problem of searching for a job. Now I’d have to start solving problems that require money. Anxious thoughts of these unfamiliar problems come rushing in. Progress should feel nice shouldn’t it?
VZ’s birthday, Georgian restaurant, no red wine present. Plenty of people are.
Day 19 24.03.2022
First time on a ferry across the Bosphorus strait. Get from one continent to another for the price of a bus ticket.
Can’t focus on things. If rocks wouln’t be so slippery, I would’ve licked the sea.
Day 20 25.03.2022
Accepted the job offer. Getting used to an unfamiliar problem of searching for a long-term place to live.
A networking meetup for Russian expats, is a room full of “creative class”: photographers, designers, models. One sexologist. People trying to sell themselves.
Nearby model is rocking on a chair enticingly. Other portfolios are made from instagram accounts and there-should’ve-been-a-time-limit presentations, stretched by 5k+ lumen projector. These I see as flashes of amorphous “content”.
There is something about this nationality, that makes me avoid groups of Russians. If I interact with people from other countries, I can dissolve into their cultures and don’t think about mine. I don’t feel it’s the war to blame, but rather 27 years spent in the same jar. Lungs filled with pickle juice.
Rooftop party with pancakes. A matress is leaning against a staircase wall, presenting a local cat on top, curled in a dream. This orange cream colored ball of fur, reminds me how wrecked my sleep pattern is.
Day 21 26.03.2022
Woke up in the middle of the night to pee. A cockroach was running around bathroom sink. Did it crawl out of the drain? I open the tap and pour water on top of it, it’s light shell making it float all over the sink. After a minute(?) of showering the cockroach, whirlpool forces win, and brown body is dragged in the drain.
Spent the day locked in an apartment, searching for a room to rent on facebook groups. There is something pleasant in submitting yourself to one thing. Distract yourself from worrying and potential dangers. Won’t be able to relax now anyway.
Day 22 27.03.2022
Moved most of my stuff to A.I. house. His apartment is inside one of many 10+ story high residential buildings. Lack of open space between buildings and sweat from carrying two bags up-down the hills, place reminded me the image of Brazilian favelas.
Day 23 28.03.2022
Took a ferry across Bosphorus to check more rooms for rent.
One apartment owner is a chain smoking filmmaker with a dusty workshop in the basement. I’ve met a turkish David Lynch.
28.03-03.04 week plan
There is a good chance I’ll find an apartment to rent. Better start the process for residence permit in parallel, as it may take a while. Speed is more important than 200$
21.03-27.03 week review
Got a job. I hope it’s a real one.
Day 24 29.03.2022
After travelling across the city multiple times in different directions, I start to comprehend it’s scale.
As walk out from real estate agent’s office, a random Turkish guy starts chatting with me, and suggests to get some coffee. We enter small local shop, and the shopkeeper pours two cups of turkish cahve. Turkish guy turns out to be a history teacher, who keeps repeating my name, enjoying the sound it makes.
Day 25 30.03.2022
Moved in a new hostel, on the asian side of Istanbul. Met a French carpenter with a luxurious moustache and golden earrings. At the evening we ate local fish and got drunk on Rakı. Expensive, but maybe carefree hours are worth it.
Day 26 31.03.2022
Checked more rooms for rent, drank more coffee. Had an interview with company T., even though I already have a job.
Fleshy ears of a plump man on a bus stop are being pulled forward by his mask straps. His ears are too soft for the demands of the modern world. Evolution should consider making our ears muscular or have a nails-like layer for protection.
Day 27 01.04.2022
David Lynch suddenly messaged me, notifying that I can rent his room.
Today is H’s birthday and he is fixing his special carpenter pants by sewing a golden button to them. These pants are wide at the thigh, and I imagine that’s what sailors were wearing back in the day.
At the evening we celebrate his birthday by grabbing a couple of beers from local “shop of sin”, and going to a Kadikoy’s lighthouse. After lighthouse concrete base sucked all heat from our bodies, we return to a hostel bar. A cat with malformed face, participant of many fights, is jumping from table to table and crawling near the ceiling.
March 2022 review
One of the most intense months I ever had. Maybe it would look simpler in perspective.
April 2022 plan
Visit a local hammam.
Day 28 02.04.2022
A third morning in a row with hangover. I’m getting used to it. While still halfway asleep, I hear the click-click sound of nails being clipped, suggesting that our bathroom is occupied. Took me a few cycles of waking up and dosing off, to realize it’s click-click is the sound of the hostel’s radiator.
Under my bunk bed is a guy right after receiving hair transplants. The skin on his head is bleeding, and his sheets are soaked with blood. Air inside the room feels stale and sour, after 6 people breathed it through the night. I open the door to the balcony.
Woke up H. and shook his sleepy hand.
Went for a breakfast with a guy from Tennessee, so that we can chat about US gun laws.
Moving to a room I’ve rented. Jumped on a wrong ferry, and spent couple hours on the way to Istanbul islands and back. Kokorech sandwich from an island harbor is full of fat, spices and chewy intestines.
Day 29 03.04.2022
My flatmate doesn’t speak english much, so complex ideas are discussed with mechanical clacks of google translate accent.
Girl who rented the room before me, took a table with her. For the foreseable future, the kitchen is my office.
Day 30 04.04.2022
In a notary office, young afgan(?) girl is leaning against the wall. Her hoodie says “2PAC 4ever”.
I consider what gestures are suited to ask her for better photo. *Points to her hoodie, raises his hand and shows the horns. Then a gesture of pressing a shutter button on a phone..*
I give myself some excuse to not do any of that, and the girl is rushed away by people with documents.
The tragedy of Istanbul, is that you can buy vegetables on every corner, but only the same wrinkly tomatoes and cucumbers.
Day 31 05.04.2022
Standing in a caged queue, holding a pink folder with documents in hand. There is no official requirement for the pink folder, but everyone has it.
If this kafkaesque application for a residency permit fails, I’d have to get out of the country. Part of me would really like mull over this “what if”.
Without any pressing tasks in the next few days, my mind runs like an empty blender.
Day 32 06.04.2022
Would love to spend a month in comfort, doing nothing productive, knowing nothing would happen. From a grand cosmic perspective, nothing really can happen.
Day 35 09.04.2022
On a 16hr bus ride across Turkey to Alanya to meet the sea and clear my head.
It’s 9pm. Did’t have lunch and getting hungrier by the minute. Bus stops are 5-10 minutes long so far, so I never wander away. This stop has an enticing canteen, and a girl from my bus is already selecting dishes. She looks turkish, she should know how long the stop lasts, right? Deciding to risk it, I pick pilav and soup, keeping the girl in sight. My speed of dealing with food, reminds me of a story how Elon Musk can swallow a burger in seconds.
I can’t see the bus from the table, but the girl still here, as bus should be. Rush out, mouth full of rice, still chewing. There are no buses outside. This is bad. Maybe the girl didn’t plan to return to the bus? Doing a few 360 degree spins on my heels to check people around me. They look unfamiliar. Feel thankful for bringing my passport in a bulging pocket of my pants.
Calling the bus company office…reveals that the bus is gone to refill the gas and will be back soon. Breathe out.
Day 38 12.04.2022
You’re supposed to feel many beutiful things when you run on the beach. Main feeling I got, was the feeling of mixing mushy, wet dough with my feet with every push.
Public nature of these entries affects how and what I write. Public nature is not only pushing me to refine the text, but also compelling to focus on some things and omit others. Compelling to create a subjectively “good” social image for myself. Making any image is not really a goal of this log.
So the difficulty is in digging deeper without stumbling upon any of my masks, while writing about suprising things.
Feeling horny, feeling dumb, feeling stressed, feeling down.
Day 41 15.04.2022
22:21 Week of working from Alanya outskirts passed by. I could’ve worked from coffee shops, sitting near the beach and greenery, but that would require extra energy. Instead, I was mostly slouching in a dark room on a sofa all day, tapping along the keys. In the evenings, I was too tired to do anything extra. Maybe because simple passage of time drains energy now, even when I do nothing. A leaky battery.
Routine is supposed to make you calm, but not this week.
Day 42 16.04.2022
On the way to an old castle on the mountains surrounding Alanya, we stopped with L. at a small restaurant. It was engulfed by fruit trees and surrounded by big tin boxes from olives, used as flower pots. Idyllic place. Going up and up under the scolding sun, to see the castle we will not reach.
An hour later I’m running on hot sand into cold sea, wearing shorts purchased 5 minutes ago.
When writing this log, I’m always thinking how to make coherent text out of the paragraphs. But described moments, are usually not connected. Whole thing is a brain dump in tweet form. Seems viable to search for a good narrative among the material afterwards, but then you’re not writing it in the heat of the moment.
Day 45 19.04.2022
It’s unsettling that I wanted to move to a different country for so many years, but only a war made me do it. “I think the ability of the average man could be doubled if it were demanded, if the situation demanded." Will Durant This underlines a need to construct situations, which demand more in important areas.
As they say in video games speedrunning, “Ikamet residency permit any % run” - completed in 45 days. Now I can stay in Turkey for a year.
With Ikamet, remote job and a local bank account, the trifecta of essentials is completed. I can start settling down, making longer term plans. As the run is complete, this is it’s last log entry. Нет войне!